i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize