I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
