bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
