It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
