if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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