dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
