well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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