He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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