Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
