Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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