also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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