you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
