you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
