Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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