At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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