You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize