Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
