how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Green mimosas i think yes
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
