dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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