I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
