My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
