is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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