idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
