I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
