I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
