Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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