We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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