you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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