I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
