4 words: hood of his car
I forgot how hot balto sounded
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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