i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
