im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
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He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
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I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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