You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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