she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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