I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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