singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
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