so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
