Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
my poor anus
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
