Redeem this text for a blowjob
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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