i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
