Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it because I queefed?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
