id be glad to
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
be right there i have to get my cape
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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