People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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