I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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