I am in a vortex of obligation.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
