would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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