i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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