Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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