I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
