If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize