I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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