when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
