here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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