i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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