This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
