I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
