So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
