I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think i have herpe
just one?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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