ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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