dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You made out with two different species that night
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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