And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
