We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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