its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
