I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's blow job season.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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