8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
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I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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